Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
