Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I supernannyed him into submission
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
