just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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