last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dear god my vagina.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
