So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
