I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Randomize
