totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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