Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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