Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
