I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
