evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
