You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is it because I queefed?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
