It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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