You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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