I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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