are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i came on her dog
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
