I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
