I must be too annoying 4 u.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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