So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
