So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We have started to decorate penises.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
