Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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