You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
