bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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