OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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