More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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