I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
