so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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