It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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