I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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