hotel room ftw
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
