I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
