So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
