super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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