I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
