im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
