how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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