but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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