I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
