They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
