Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize