Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
