Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Congratulations! We have a period
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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