I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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