She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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