He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im holly from the hills drunk
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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