super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
