Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
