they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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