After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
