shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
