I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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