I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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