Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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