You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I said "one day" and that day is not today
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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