I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
