goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize