No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
