i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits