TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.